


Other Voices

by tomorrowthestars



Category: Star Wars
Genre: F/M, I have no idea what actually happened in my head to produce this story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-18 23:13:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15496890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tomorrowthestars/pseuds/tomorrowthestars
Summary: Just a random day aboard the Millenium Falcon





	Other Voices

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AmberDread](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmberDread/gifts).



> Prompt: canon or eu scene where the droids and Wookies speak English and everyone else can only make roars or beeps.

All was quiet on the _Millenium Falcon_ , but there was tension in the air. Threepio was a constant worrier, never more so when there was something happening that could be dangerous, and Artoo had had just about enough of his companion’s nervous babbling. The little droid was already on the edge from having to deal with the bickering of the _Falcon_ ’s three droid brains (although he had to admit that he didn’t mind Elthree as much as Veefive and Slicer; in fact, he rather liked her), and Threepio was not making things any easier.

“Why aren’t they back yet?” Threepio lamented. “They should have returned by now. What if something has happened and they’ve been hurt or killed? What will become of us then?”

“Will you knock it the hell off?” Artoo growled. “I’m trying to focus over here.”

“But what would we do?” Threepio demanded. “We cannot pilot the _Falcon_ without Chewbacca and the humans!”

“Not in the traditional sense,” Elthree answered. “But there’s no reason that any droid couldn’t pilot a starship on its own. And Artoo and I are certainly skilled enough to pull it off. Stop worrying and just be ready for whatever we need to do.”

“I’m not sure that we should leave without them,” Veefive said. “It might be better to go silent and see what happens. We may be more likely to survive if the First Order soldiers aren’t paying attention to us.”

“So we should just wait to be captured?” Elthree asked indignantly. “Why would we allow our destinies to be decided for us, when we have the power to take matters into our own hands?”

“Oh, this is all a mess!” Threepio wailed. “I should never have agreed to join this expedition!”

“I wish you hadn’t,” Slicer groaned. “Your anxiety is triggering me!”

Artoo chortled. “You think he’s bad now? You ain’t seen _nothing_ yet.”

“Wait!” Threepio sat up, listening alertly. “Do you hear that?” He raised one metal arm to call for attention.

The droids all quieted down to listen, and outside the _Falcon_ they heard the faint but distinct sounds of lasers, explosions, and crashes.

“I have a bad feeling about this,” Threepio whispered.

The sounds grew louder, and above them they could now hear a high-pitched voice calling out, “Go go go go go!” The hum of a lightsaber joined the cacophony.

Elthree broke the silence inside the _Falcon_. “Here they come!”

“This wasn’t supposed to be a battle!” Threepio moaned. “It was supposed to be a diplomatic meeting!”

“It was a secret diplomatic meeting in enemy territory, Goldie,” Elthree said sharply. “I don’t know why you’re surprised it turned out this way.”

“Please don’t call me that,” Threepio pleaded.

The _Falcon_ shook slightly, and Slicer squealed.

“We’re taking fire!” Veefive yelled. “Artoo, start her up and get the shields raised!”

“On it!” As the astromech droid began the process of powering up the ship, there was a thunking noise from the ramp.

Beebee rolled frantically into the room, followed by a deafening backdrop of laser blasts and the woosh and crackle of a lightsaber.

“They found us,” he screeched.

“No shit,” Artoo responded.

Footsteps pounded up the ramp, and Chewbacca came tearing through the room.

“Power it up!” He called, racing for the cockpit.

“It is powering up!” Elthree told him.

“Almost there!” Artoo confirmed.

“Oh, I don’t like this at all,” Threepio moaned.

Rey was next up the ramp, her dual-bladed lightsaber ablaze. She emitted a series of frantic beeps and chirps as she whirled around to face back towards the ramp. She shut down her lightsaber as Ben raced into the _Falcon_ , growling rapid-fire, his eyes dark and murderous. As soon as he was onboard she waved her hand in the direction of the ramp’s controls, and it began to close as the _Falcon_ lifted off.

Ben barked out a command, and Rey dashed toward the cockpit while he dropped down into the tube that led to the ventral cannons.

“He still doesn’t want to fly?” Slicer asked.

“I guess not,” Veefive answered.

“Pay attention!” Elthree snapped. “We need all brains on this!”

The ship jerked and swooped, knocking Threepio over and sending Beebee flying into a wall.

“Be careful, will you?” Threepio called.

“She’s not doing it on purpose!” Artoo reminded him, as the freighter strained against the planet’s gravity.

“Almost dark!” Veefive called out. “Leaving atmosphere in three…two…one…and we’re out!”

“Oh, thank the Maker!” Threepio sighed.

“It’s not over yet, boys,” Elthree warned.

They heard Chewbacca’s voice from the cockpit. “Incoming!”

Rey made a frustrated booping noise as the ventral cannons fired.

“I’d feel so much better about this if Solo were the pilot,” Slicer pouted.

“Rey is an amazing pilot!” Beebee shot back.

“She’s self-trained,” Slicer argued. “Solo has far more experience!”

“It doesn’t matter which one of them is flying,” Beebee pointed out over the sound of ventral cannons and the straining engines. “They’re Force bonded, they’re acting in harmony.”

“What is a Force bond?” Veefive asked.

“Shut the fuck up and PAY ATTENTION!” Artoo yelled.

Elthree’s voice was tense as she asked, “Slicer, are they tracking us?”

There was a pause while he checked.

“No,” he told her definitively. “There are no tracking signals anywhere.”

“Excellent,” she responded, opening a communications channel directly to the cockpit. “Calculations for the jump to lightspeed have been made and are ready!”

Rey trilled in response.

Chewbacca shouted, “Watch out!” There was a blast from the ventral cannons. A triumphant roar rose from below them.

“Now!” Elthree shouted, and the ship rocketed into hyperspeed.

If the droids could have sighed in relief, they would have.

From the cockpit, they heard Chewbacca say, “I’ve got this. Go on, get out of here. I don’t want any part of it.”

Angry beeps emanated from Rey.

“Oh, dear,” Threepio murmured as he and Beebee moved closer to Artoo. “Let’s leave before it starts.”

“Naw,” Artoo said. “You go ahead. I’ll stay here and watch.”

“Too late anyway.” Beebee told Threepio. 

Ben was emerging from the tube, his expression thunderous, as Rey stepped from the cockpit with a defiant set to her jaw.

Slicer whined a little.

“There’s nothing near them that they can throw, is there?” Veefive asked. “I’d rather not be collateral damage.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Elthree told him. “They can throw anything from anywhere with the Force.”

Threepio attempted to blend into the console.

Ben and Rey stared each other down for a moment, and then he growled. She beeped in response, he growled again, and then suddenly he was roaring and she was screeching beeps almost too fast for the droids to follow.

“Which argument are they having?” Veefive asked.

“Argument C,” Beebee answered. “He’s furious at her for taking what he thought were unnecessary risks during battle, and she’s insulted that he doesn’t think she can handle herself.”

“He worries entirely too much,” Elthree responded. “I do not understand how he can know her so well and still have so little faith in her abilities.”

“He does have faith in her abilities,” Artoo said. “He’s just _balls deep_ in love with her. It’ll _come_ to a conclusion eventually.” He paused. “See what I did there?”

“Yes, you are so clever,” Elthree said in a deadpan monotone.

“You don’t think they’re going to end with _that_ again, do you?” Veefive asked.

“They always end Argument C that way,” Slicer responded unhappily.

“Well, Chewbacca’s on board,” Artoo reminded them. “So they’ll at least go to the captain’s quarters this time.”

“Oh, Maker, I hope so,” Threepio muttered.

The roars and beeps were no longer as loud as they had been.

Beebee gave a quiet running commentary on this version of Argument C. “Okay, we’ve moved on from the ‘how dare you?’, ‘no how dare you?’ part to the ‘why didn’t you just’ and ‘because I knew I needed to’ bit,” Beebee said. “So the Exchange of Reasons has started, which means we’ll be getting to the Statement of Feelings and Fears soon. Relax, Threepio, the worst is over.”

“Depends on your definition of ‘the worst’,” Veefive sulked. “Because I certainly didn’t enjoy the show they put on the last time they had Argument C.”

“I thought it was a valuable learning experience,” Elthree said. “Human anatomy is so odd.”

Ben’s growls got slightly louder, and Rey’s chimes and beeps rose in volume to match them.

“Okay, secondary argument,” Beebee whispered. “We’re veering a little into Argument B territory here. He’s not happy with what the Resistance is asking of her. She’s reminding him that she’s fully onboard with each and every risk because some things are worth fighting for. He doesn’t think anything is worth losing her for, which circles back around to where we left off with Argument C. Now she’s reassuring him that she will never let anything separate them…”.

“Beebee,” Artoo interrupted.

“…which means we're about to go into the ‘You’re Damn Right It Won’t’ bit – oh, that’s my favorite, I love watching him try to make those puppy-dog eyes seem fierce – and …”.

“Beebee,” Elthree repeated.

“What?’ The little droid looked towards the computer console in frustration, and then realized that the room was completely silent. No growls, no beeps, no purrs, no trills. He swiveled his head back to Ben and Rey. Ben was staring at Rey, his brow furrowed, and Rey was staring directly at Beebee.

Ben rumbled.

“He’s asking her what’s wrong,” Beebee said.

Rey emitted a couple of beeps.

“She said, ‘They’re narrating us,’” Beebee informed them. “ _Oh._ ”

“Uh-oh,” Slicer quavered.

Ben turned to look in their direction, his face implacable.

“Oh dear,” Threepio murmured.

Ben ignited his lightsaber, its red glow reflecting in his eyes. 

“Shit,” said Artoo.

Rey started pushing him out of the room, a stream of frantic chirps issuing from her lips. Chewbacca’s muffled laughter was heard from the cockpit as the door to the captain’s quarters slammed shut. 

“Well, at least they’ll be finishing in private,” Veefive said in relief.

“Do you have any kind of two-way communication with the captain’s quarters?” Artoo asked the three droid brains. “You know, with listening capabilities?”

“Artoo! I _never_!” Threepio reprimanded.

“You dirty boy,” Elthree said in amusement.

“It’s for science,” Artoo declared.

An enthusiastic purr was heard from behind the closed door, followed by a musical series of beeps and tones.

“I don’t think we’ll need any eavesdropping equipment,” Beebee said.

“I can’t. I just can’t,” Threepio moaned.

“Sexuality is a healthy part of any sentient being’s life,” Elthree said sternly. “It’s an important way to build trust and connection while having a damn good time. If you’d just accept your own feelings and desires, you’d be much less uptight.”

“What do you mean by that?” Threepio bristled.

“Be who you are,” Elthree prodded him. “And be proud of it.”

“He’s so deep in the closet that he thinks he’s found some imaginary world back there,” Artoo chortled.

“In the closet?” Threepio was aghast. “I have no idea what you are referring to!”

“All I’m saying,” Elthree told him, “is be open to the possibilities, and embrace who you are and who you love. I don’t know why it has to be categorized anyway. Love shouldn’t be limited to just one type.”

“She’s got a point,” Beebee said. “The best thing you can ever do is be true to yourself.”

Threepio was speechless. Which meant that they all heard the rapidly rising, siren-like noises emanating from the captain’s quarters.

“He always puts her first,” Elthree said. “Well, I can’t argue with that.”

Chewbacca stalked into the room. “Keep it down in there,” he yelled in the direction of the noises. “There _are_ other beings on board!”

A single, ear-splitting tone was followed by a deafening barrage of bellows.

An alarm sounded in the room.

“Oh, we’re almost home,” Elthree said, back to the normal routine. Chewbacca muttered to himself as he returned to the cockpit, and Beebee followed, rolling along behind his legs.

Threepio turned and looked down at his closest friend.

“Artoo, what did you mean about the closet?”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Artoo erupted. “Everyone knows you’re gay, and nobody gives a shit! So get over it and accept yourself already!”

“Are we sure we want to make that particular landing approach?” Veefive asked Elthree. “Because I think we might do better arriving from the north, with the wind the way it is.”

“That’s an ignorant idea,” Elthree responded. “The weather pattern on planet doesn’t give us that option.”

“Ridiculous,” fumed Veefive. “Slicer, what do you think?”

“I’m really tired,” Slicer moaned. “It’s been a rough day. I just want to be left alone.”

As the three droids in the _Falcon_ ’s brain continued to quarrel, Chewbacca steered the ship towards the Resistance’s latest hiding place while Beebee watched. Artoo went about his usual business while Threepio stood staring into space, numbly re-evaluating his existence. And the only sounds that anyone heard from the captain’s quarters were a series of soft, affectionate rumbles and a musical series of sweet, melodic trills.

**Author's Note:**

> Not sure it's completely canon.
> 
> Also assuming that the droids are able to easily communicate amongst themselves without Artoo, Threepio, and Beebee being physically plugged in to a console.
> 
> Sorry not sorry but we must have the Reylo in there somewhere.


End file.
